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Thursday, August 14, 2014

‘Til You Use Me Up

If you can successfully emotionally manipulate me, I say good on you. Well done. 

Like, if you're a couple, and you're 78 and 83 years old, and you're walking past me on the street holding hands and then you—the wife-half of this eternally dedicated partnership—turn to wipe a smidge of strawberry preserves from the snow-white whiskers of the husband-half of this eternally dedicated loyal forever coupling? I salute you. You have not tugged these strings in vain. 

However, if you are the director of the Sarah McLachlan animal cruelty video—or, for that matter, the producer of a Sarah McLachlan song: for shame. You are a monster, and you have made a mockery of my compa$$ion.  

And if you fall somewhere in between that spectrum, I think what I can offer you is a shrug and pat on the back.

Because I love and hate this so much that I think I've spun the pendulum back to love:

Because it's not coy or clever. Not even a little bit. It is blatantly manipulative—but its flagrance somehow counteracts any shame- or guilt-inducement. And frankly I just respect it.

And you better believe I tried to adopt that 2.5-lb. chihuahua, Wesley. I had already renamed him Atwood. Or maybe I was gonna keep the name Wesley.

Either way, I salute you, manipulator. Or maybe I just wanted that freakin dog.

NOW:

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15 comments:

  1. I read them already.... :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. We know that condolence message have always use when someone in grieving situation.Because this message helps them to control the emotion and lead the life in positive manner.

    ReplyDelete

Your comments are why I get out of bed in the morning. Just kidding. But I do like them.