Tuesday, March 18, 2014

I'm OK—You're OK

A new vagary of mine is to become unintentionally and inexplicably weepy over the slightest augmentation of my emotions.

Examples of things that inexplicably augment my emotions, thus rendering me weepy: 
  • a stranger wishing me a good evening
  • the cover of a book
  • a woman laughing with a small child
  • the way a napkin is folded

I don' it. But...

My goal has been to not try and define just exactly what it is that is bringing this on, and I think that this is a tiny bit brilliant means of dealing—to accept it without scrutinization.

This new thing that happens all the time happened in front of a friend. Afterwards I sent the friend a text—not putting too much thought into it—that said this:
“Sorry I got weepy and am always weepy. I guess this is just who I am now until further notice.”
I've decided that this leaning towards acquiescence is one of the better decisions I've made lately. Like many, I tend towards an exhaustive over-analyzation of my intentions, motivations and feelings as well as those of others. And I think this tendency is a classic case of too much of a good thing.

It frees up a lot of head space and alleviates a lot of frustration to accept that something just is without attempting to determine why it is or what it means that it is that way*.

The second part of the acquiescence—“until further notice”—is also helpful. It acknowledges that we are fluid beings whose actions and intentions and feelings and states of being are perpetually in flux. This—regardless of how good or bad this is—is not going to be forever.

So for now, I'm just a big crybaby pants face—no really: try me—and that is just okay.

*I am talking about things that are not, in themselves, harmful to self or others. For example, I am not talking about  lackadaisically accepting drug addiction or abusive behavior, etc.


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