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Thursday, June 13, 2013

How to be Normal

A while back my sister lived and volunteered in Nicaragua. It's a small world and all, so she happened to live with a girl who was also from North America—Canada I believe. So of course there would be an inevitable Minnesota connection.

The girl's brother came to visit, and, upon hearing my name or seeing my photo, he was sure he had met me. "She's really creative, right?" That was his summation of our interaction—an interaction whose existence I'm rather dubious of. Sure, I can get behind being described as creative. I mean, I did place first at the 1995 Odyssey of The Mind regional competition, and I did invent the word Propackstination, but I'm pretty sure he didn't know about my regionals victory and that I wouldn't invent that genius word for years to come.

So what evidence did this young man have of my creativity?

"Yeah, she was wearing her shirt backwards," he explained.


This was some of the worst news I had ever received.

First of all, readers, let me assure you I have never, ever purposely worn a shirt backwards. I mean, if people only knew how much work I put into just trying to be a normal functioning adult who would never, ever wear a shirt backwards or accidentally pronounce American words like I was French or sing a creepy madeup song to my dog about crushing her skull because she's so cute I could die, in a demented baby voice, accidentally in front if a stranger...

This has haunted me for—let me do the math—about five years. And last week, I actually met him. At my brother's house. Because that's how small of a world it is. Him=the guy who thinks I wear shirts backwards because I'm artsy (okay, maybe he called me artsy and not creative, but I just don't think I'm ready to even deal with that). 

I hung out with them for about ten minutes, and I have never tried so hard to be super, duper normal in my whole life. Not bringing up the backwards shirt thing turned those ten minutes into some of the hardest ten minutes of my life. After all, the only arsenal I had at the moment was the fact that I was not wearing my shirt backwards—not exactly compelling evidence.

What about you guys? Has anyone ever thought you were weirder than you really even are?

14 comments:

  1. Not weirder than I am, but lately several people have said things to me that indicate they think I am a hipster. It's really getting to me. I am NOT a hipster! I don't know what I am doing to make people think I am a hipster and I don't know how to make it stop.

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  2. Jacqui, Kady's cousin from TexasJune 13, 2013 at 8:39 PM

    It would be impossible for anyone to think that I'm weirder than I am because I'm a freak but maybe this story will make you feel better.
    A couple of months after the birth of my first child (side note: I'd had a C-section and some complications healing from it, so I was especially traumatized at this time), I decided to undertake the monumental task of attending the Sunday meeting.
    I was able to get us both ready and arrived right before it started. I was filled with pride for two seconds before the girl behind me tapped me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear that my shirt was on INSIDE OUT!!!
    For the briefest flicker, I felt deflated but then perked up, sat through the meeting and left the second it was over (my shirt was inside out the entire time). Instead of being embarrassed, I felt like people should just be grateful that I remembered to put on a shirt.

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  3. Well. A middle school student once referred to me as "The Flannel Channel." Because I'm a professional I was unable to respond with "shut up, you little b----!" Instead, I just denied it, like I never wear flannel shirts. Now every time I wear a flannel shirt, which in the winter is a lot, plus I'm from Wisconsin and this is my culture, every time I wear a flannel shirt I remember her comment. And I'm kinda proud of it.
    Hipsters wear flannel shirts all the time; maybe Megs and I could be friends.

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  4. When you met HIM at your brother's house last week, I think that you should have brought up the "backwards shirt" thing. Then he would have had the hardest 10 minutes of his life! Just saying...

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Your comments are why I get out of bed in the morning. Just kidding. But I do like them.