Sister Story: Part I

My sister and I were deep into our conversation at the Asian fusion restaurant as we paid our bill, and we remained deep in conversation as we headed to the restroom before leaving. I went into stall #1, and Holland went into stall #2. And the chatting appropriately ended, because you see—we weren't raised to be the kind of people who can carry on a conversation while being in a bathroom doing a bathroom-type thing.

Particularly embarrassing bathroom noises came from my sister's stall. I mean I could really feel her embarrassment. Like I said...we weren't that family.

So I did what I always do when I'm in a situation where something uncomfortable or awkward has occurred: I draw unnecessary attention to the uncomfortable, awkward thing that just happened. Duh.

"Eww! Guh-ross!"

Yes, that's what I said to ease my poor sister's embarrassment.

I finished up and began chatting again eagerly as I swung my stall door open only to be met with something horrible: my sister standing there. There=against the wall. 

Not in the stall.

I looked at her. Panic. I looked at locked stall #2. Panic. Then back at her. Panic. Dripping. down. my face. 

Desperation.

Holland nodded in agreement—her silence stating the obvious: "Yes, you are an awful human being who toilet-shames strangers."