Monday, October 15, 2012

Are You My Mother?

I was telling this cute story to my brother and his wife the other day:

Usually Edie is very shy at the office. She stays on her blanket or in her bed under my desk and if we go out for a walk, I have to pick her up and carry her outside because she's so petrified of the wood floors. But this week was something else. She walked around the entire office and stood next to the chair of each of my coworkers until they would pick her up. She even walked to the front of the office to the couches where her eyes begged a client to pick her up.

My brother said, "She's asking, 'Will you be my new mommy? Mine is leaving me.'"

It's true; I'm leaving.

Do you know what strangers I like say? They say, "You know, chihuahuas are the smartest breed of dog."

Edie is not a well-trained dog. The problem with training a dog is...if you want a dog to be have to train the dog, which is something I failed to do. It was hard to find the motivation with a pup who only did three bad things in her life: chew two cell phone chords and partially consume a chap-stick.

Plus, she looks like this:

So she's untrained. She doesn't really come when you call or sit or shake. But she's. just. so. sweet. 

I will be out of this particular country from October 26 through January 26 and, well, why don't I just let her tell you herself:

"Hi my name is Edie. I'm five years old and my favorite color is light-blue denim.

My favorite activities are:

Melting your heart.

Practicing dental hygiene.

Folding my hands demurely on road trips.

And modeling.

I also very much enjoy resting my chin on your arm no matter how inconvenient it is for both of us. 

She is going away. If you pick me, all of your dreams will come true."

I'll take it back over from here, Edie...

An original plan fell through so my brother and sis-in-law will be watching Edie for the majority of the time I'm away. But perhaps you would like to do one of the following:
  • Practice having a dog for a few days or a week or two.
  • Fill the void of your meaningless life with love from this adorable creature.
  • Gain purpose by devoting your life (in three- to ten-minute increments a day) to 4 lbs. of pure endearment. 
Questions? Text me or email me at 


  1. She's adorable! How does she feel about other dogs? Kittens? I'm tempted, damn you.

  2. I love Edie. And I think she loves me. I am terrified that I might somehow hurt her. She is very tiny and delicate. And I have trepidation's because of her relationship with my carpeting. But if you are out of options, we could help out for few days....

  3. What is this, leaving Edie to the hands of any ole HoboSiren reader?!
    She knows where home is, with her real Mommy and Daddy ( I mean real Auntie and Uncle).

  4. If she wants a few days in NY I'm here to help. She is adorable. She could help Josh with his dental hygiene.


Your comments are why I get out of bed in the morning. Just kidding. But I do like them.