"I am so sick of losing baby toenails."
"When you've been slutting it up with your boyfriend for ten years and then finally decide to get married, what's the point in having him turn his back to you while you're walking down the aisle?"
"Girlfriend, we have to go to Sri Lanka. Because it's another country."
"I love songs that are duets between a guy and a girl complaining about the other one."
Those are my favorite kind of songs too.
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