30 While 30: Run a Half Marathong, Part I: Pre Race

Yes, you read it right: Marathong. It's a pretty phenomenal typo. (I don't know why my fingers so badly want to add that g but I've decided to be true to them so the typo will remain each time it's made in this post.)

Last year's 30 before 30 list included the task of running a marathong, which I was signed up for and everything. I got nearly half way through my training when I accepted the offer to move to New Orleans. I gave up on Twin Cities marathon that year for two reasons:

1) Getting on a plane to fly to Minneapolis in order to run 26.2 miles would have been real dumb.

2) Training for a marathogn (keeping it) in heat index of 123°F would have been real awful.

On my second run this year I ran 3 miles and it felt good. This incited me to sign up for the Urban Wildland Half Marathon, which Kady is also running, (click here for an extra-fun fact) which in turn incited me to add it to my 30 while 30 list since the event occurs nine days post-30.

It took me only a week to regret this decision.

I skipped winter and this is what I get: a hot, hot, hot humid summer. Running 8–12 miles in drippy hot humidity is, contrary to what people dying of hypothermia believe, really miserable.

I was in Thailand with Kady scooting around on a motorbike once, and a storm erupted out of nowhere. We barely made it to shelter in time.

As rain descended in torrential waves, I said to Kady, with no jest or coyness, "You know, it never occurred to me that it would rain in Thailand."

I share this with you for one main reason:

You know it never occurred to me that running a half marathon would make my legs and knees and feet and ankles and toes and the front of my feet and my back and shoulders and face hurt.

Oh that sounds stupid to you?

The thing is, I thought I'd get tired or I wouldn't be able to catch a good breath or my heart would throw in the towel or I would get bored. 

It never occurred to me that a few days before the half marathon—8 days after completing a 12.1 mile training run—1.2 miles into a run my legs would say, "Nope. Nuh uh. No way man."*

But alas this is what has happened. I'm doing everything I can to get my legs to move, including:

• stretching like 45 minutes a day (something I've been neglecting; lesson learned)
• a chiropractor visit where she adjusted my ankles! My ankles! Popped them and everything. It was horrible/amazing!
• acupuncture
• and one big, fat pessimistic regretful hopeful attitude!

At this point I have three half-marathong goals:

1. Finish the race (they close the finish line at 3.5 hours which is averaging a 16-minute mile).
2. Avoid being photographed while running.
3. Look like this at the finish line:

I'll probably wear my hair up though.

Okay, you're right; one of these might be a little unrealistic because I'm pretty sure there are going to be like a billion photographers there.

*I feel the need to clarify that it isn't that my leg started hurting. It just simply stopped moving. As in... it would not bend. It turned into a wooden peg leg.