Monday, June 11, 2012

Owning It

The other night I popped into my neighborhood liquor store for some hard cider to complement the cheese-based food I planned on consuming shortly after. This isn't my favorite liquor store. Although they score 4 million points for being dog-friendly, my favorite is a mile or so away and has a shabbier and more diverse clientele. When most Twin Cities residents drive their visitors down Summit to look at the mansions or drive them past iconic First Ave., I'm like, "Ooh, let's go to my liquor store. It's so gross; you'll love it."

I was tsk-tsking as I perused their prices and, out of the corner of my eye, saw a rather scruffy, disheveled man. The sort that probably isn't going home to a warm clean bed tonight.

"I'm just going to grab some of the cheap stuff," he said to no one as he reached down to the bottom shelf for something in an unbreakable bottle. 

You know the type.

I thought to myself: 
First of all, who are you talking to? 


Oh you're going to forego the Belvedere in favor of the cheap stuff just this one time?

Now, I have such big commitment issues that blowing up an inflatable exercise ball was blog-worthy in my world so I'm hesitant to make this strong statement. But, why do we pretend that we aren't what we are?

I have a gross, messy car. It's because my hands are always full and I hate carrying stuff through two heavy locked doors and up three flights of stairs. Seriously, I purchased a 24 pack of toilet paper a month ago, and it's still in my car; I just keep bringing up one single roll in my purse as needed. In my car right now: that toilet paper, a bike saddle, half-grip-taped handlebars, a pair of crocs, a large dehydrator, a pair of socks, two dirty towels, piles of books and magazines, old mail, two broken umbrellas, and more. (Does the fact that I drive a station wagon make this less hoarder-y?)

When I ended up with a passenger, I used to say something like this: "I'm so sorry my car is such a mess. I've been crazy busy and I bla bla bla..."

Now I just say this: "I'm sorry for you that my car is gross. It's because I'm disgusting."

Is it possible to live by this credo?:

Either stop apologizing for your negative trait/s

or change it/them.

What do you think?


  1. I'm dying that you bring your TP up roll by lonely single lady roll at a time. Now, how often are you replenishing? Just curious.

    1. Today is my day off and I've spent it at home cleaning and paying bills and cooking and what-not. I've been out of toilet paper since 3pm yesterday... It is just outside in my car, but I am too much of a hermit to go out and get it. I have gotten VERY creative.

  2. Why give a reason at all? For instance, when my car is a mess I simply say "Sorry, my car is a mess". There's really no excuse or valid reason why my car is messy and Ms. Alwaysclean's car isn't. We just have different priorities for different reasons. I just figure that giving a reason at all would make the other person feel obligated to make a judgement call on the validity of the reason. I like to leave the assumptions up to the other person unless there's a really unusually strange reason behind something I do. This does annoy people, however, so maybe your way is better. Although I do think maybe you should say "Because I'm messy" instead of "disgusting". That is, unless your car stinks of rotten fish and is germy. What you described is "messy", and there's a HUGE difference.

    1. Very valid point, Laura. My real message is, "Why apologize?" Stating that I'm disgusting is sort of a hyperbolic non-apology. And yes, I'm afraid my car might actually be a little closer to the disgusting side of messy. Think: yogurt.

    2. Technically it's still a way of apologizing and excusing yourself, just one that also points out your flaws instead of defending them or not bringing them up at all.

      A yogurt container so old the spoon is stuck inside it and it takes strength to get them to separate? Joel found one once in my old car. I got cleaner once I had a car I cared about (and a husband pointing out my messiness on a daily basis). At least you don't have to answer to anyone if you are messy! I say enjoy it while you can.

  3. OWN IT UP! My last car was always disgusting. Getting a new car forced me to change my ways. I try to keep things tidy, though it's always packed with stuff, it's TIDIED stuff.


Your comments are why I get out of bed in the morning. Just kidding. But I do like them.