Tuesday, June 12, 2012

If You Like Hobo Siren then You'll Looove... More Hobo Siren

If you're not following me on Facebook or twitter, you're missing out on 140 character gems like these:

I hope I never fall in love with a man whose last name is "Rape" because... if I married him... my name would sound like "Summer Ape."

That's an awfully aggressive gait for a long-haired man in sweatpants.

Tried changing my hair part to the right, but couldn't walk in a straight line. What do you call that? Being normal, right? Not OCD, right?

I don't really think that's the sound of the men working on the chain gang.

If motorcycles are SO dangerous, why don't they just add 2 extra wheels and encase them in like a metal box?

Adult daycare either is or ISN'T exactly what it sounds like.

Once you've gone black, you will wish you had set your toaster to a lower setting.

Chinese takeout came w/steamed broccoli. Nice, but who we kiddng? It's like making small talk w/ a hooker. Dlvr'd chinese food = me on a bender.


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Your comments are why I get out of bed in the morning. Just kidding. But I do like them.