I hope I never fall in love with a man whose last name is "Rape" because... if I married him... my name would sound like "Summer Ape."
That's an awfully aggressive gait for a long-haired man in sweatpants.
Tried changing my hair part to the right, but couldn't walk in a straight line. What do you call that? Being normal, right? Not OCD, right?
I don't really think that's the sound of the men working on the chain gang.
If motorcycles are SO dangerous, why don't they just add 2 extra wheels and encase them in like a metal box?
Adult daycare either is or ISN'T exactly what it sounds like.
Once you've gone black, you will wish you had set your toaster to a lower setting.
Chinese takeout came w/steamed broccoli. Nice, but who we kiddng? It's like making small talk w/ a hooker. Dlvr'd chinese food = me on a bender.
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Your comments are why I get out of bed in the morning. Just kidding. But I do like them.