I Told You So

Kady has been begging me for a what she calls "make-up and dress" photo of the two of us. We've spent a lot of time together looking like this:

And sometimes... all we want is to look like ladies.

We did our best the other night at Avoid the Grey, the seventh-annual fashion event for Minneapolis' boutique, Cliche.  There was a photographer camped out in a back corner, and Kady thought this was the perfect opportunity to document our night looking not like this:

But here's what I said:

• "Nope."
• "Nuh uh."
• "No way."
• "Not a chance."
• "Stop asking me."
• "Not gonna do it."

She responded things like:

• "Seriously?"
• "Give me one good reason!"
• "You can't be serious."
• "What's wrong with you?"

I gave her plenty of reasons, such as:

• "I have no idea who those photos belong to."
• "I have no idea what will be done with them."
• "Once they're snapped, they exist and they're not mine."
• "I'm not going to find out from some website or City Pages that my shirt is completely see-through, thanks to a flash."

It might sound like vanity. Because, if you remember, if I'm not careful, I look like this:

But it's more about control. You see, I'm not vain; I'm controlling. And if you're going to see a photo of me looking like this...

... it's going to be because I allowed you to. Or, because Kady put it on the internet without my permission.

Do you think photographers look at the face of every subject before they post it on the internet for thousands to view?  No. They don't.

Kady finally bumped into an old friend she could coerce into her "makeup and a dress" photo. Oh, did you want proof that photographers at events don't care what the faces of no-names look like before they post?

"I don't... know... what to do... with my hand... Does this look good?"

And now, for good measure: Kady and Me—Makeup and a Dress.

Wait, I want a do-over.