Hanky Planking

I think we can all agree that “Planking” is the weirdest, most awkward social epidemic phenomenon that has occurred in the history of social phenomenons my lifetime.

What is planking, you ask? I'll leave that to Wikipedia:

“Planking” (or the “Lying Down Game*”) is an activity consisting of lying face down in an unusual or incongruous** location. Both hands must touch the sides of the body and having a photograph of the participant taken and posted on the Internet*** is an integral part of the game. Players compete to find the most unusual and original location in which to play. The term planking refers to mimicking a wooden plank. Rigidity of the body must be maintained to constitute good planking.”

Wait, I'm sorry...what is it that constitutes good planking? Ooohhh! It's all in the rigidity of the body!

At least one person has died so far and at least one friend of mine has ended up in jail. I want you to read that sentence again. No, here, let me make that even easier:

At least one person has died so far and at least one friend of mine has ended up in jail.

The truth is, the fact that this exists is amazing. There's nothing about it that isn't. It's the best dumbest thing that has ever happened. (Don't quote me on that because tomorrow I'll have a better dumber thing.)

When Kady and I were at the Grand Canyon a few weeks ago, we were shaking in our boots scared on this precipice of stone when we heard a couple of fashionable 20-something dudes say one of the more amazing overheard at the Grand Canyon quotes we recorded:

“I just wanna plank; I don't wanna die!”

It was a terrible seed, but it had been planted...

* More like "lying down LAME"

**Holy thesaurus, Wikipedia-author. I find this word incongruous to the asininity of this phenomenon (see what I did there?)

*** If a person planks in the woods and there's no internet connection, does it makes a noise?