Thursday, October 6, 2011

Acting my Age in Darlington, South Carolina

In my jaded and embittered old age, I have learned one thing about myself. Yes - only one - and it is that I have an unmistakable aversion to women of a certain age (over 14) acting "cute". I mean that weird, phony precociousness and feigned accidental coquettish-ness... Blech.
Ben has a name for these figures who appear in pop-culture. He calls them Darlings.

This is my way of telling you that I am moving to Darlington, South Carolina.

I would like this to be an interactive post so I'm going to ask something of you.
  1. open up an additional window or tab in your chosen browser
  2. do a google images search for "New Orleans"
  3. marvel
  4. be jealous of where I've been living for the past six weeks
  5. understand that I won't hold your envy against you
  6. know that I deserved this, okay? I had a really bad year and I needed a break
  7. clear out that search
  8. search "Darlington, South Carolina"
  9. if possible attach your favorite image or its url link in the comments section
  10. write a 300 word essay on how all good things must come to an end
The thing is, I'm still really excited. I'm excited to visit a place I've never been nor would have thought to visit. I'm excited about Food Lion. I'm excited about Nascar. I'm thrilled to be an hour and a half from Myrtle Beach and Charlotte.
And hey, if it's good enough for The Boss to write a song about, it's good enough for me.

We're saying farewell to New Orleans too soon, but we're determined to make the best of this week.

Ambitious List of things To Do for the first time:
  • Charmaine Nevel at the Ritz (done!)
  • Visit city park (done!)
  • Ride the trolley
  • Pimm's cup at Napolean House for Ash
  • Ferry ride for brunch in Algiers 
  • WWII Museum (done!)
  • Visit Musician's Row
To be continued...



  2. Why All Good Things Must Come To An End, And Why I Want It That Way
    by Ashley

    When I heard that Summer and Kady were finishing up their assignment in New Orleans I had to know where they were going next. Maybe I’d get a chance to visit them again. I heard rumblings of Florida or Arizona (or was it New Mexico? Either way, the southwest) but knowing the company they work for, all of that could go out of the window at any minute. There could be no ‘next’ or they could be going to Wyoming for that matter. Hence it came as no surprise when I found out that they were being assigned to Darlington, South Carolina. I know nothing about the place but thought that maybe it could be kind of cool to move somewhere nobody knows a thing about. Or maybe they’d be near a really sweet city, like Asheville, NC.

  3. [essay continued]

    Then I Googled Darlington, South Carolina.


  4. [essay continued]

    While I am kinda bummed for Kady and Summer not being assigned somewhere “cool” I am also secretly glad they’re not going somewhere “cool.” This makes me sound like a total jerk, I know. I want them to become disenchanted with their work. I want them to become disenchanted with their whimsical, vagabond lifestyle. I want them to loathe the south--the heat, the food, the charming people. Jerk, jerk, jerk.

  5. [essay continued]

    But I only want them to hate everything because I WANT THEM BACK IN MINNESOTA, WHERE THEY BELONG. If they find enough to hate about the south, about their job then I GET THEM BACK!

  6. [essay continued]

    Summer and I had a pretty good thing going this past summer. We went to pilates Monday evenings together! We rode bikes to Spyhouse Coffeeshop! We had a magazine party at Lake Harriet with Edie! WE WENT TO THE ZOO! And while I don’t have the same history with Kady as with Summer, it’s always a party when Kady is around. Didn’t we have a blast at my parent’s house over July 4th weekend? Yes, yes we did.

  7. [essay end]

    So dear Darlington, please don’t disappoint me by turning out to be somewhere “cool.” I need these girls more than you do.

  8. I just started really getting to know you during the months before you left Minnesota when all of a sudden you left me jealously living vicariously through blogs. I selfishly share in the hope thatMinnesota may seem really awesome after having to live inDarlington. On the other hand, I’m also super happy that you got to get away for a while, and that you’re getting a much needed break.
    As far as Darlington goes, Sometimes those small towns can have a real relaxing effect, and there are places worth seeing (on your more energetic days) that are less than 2 hours away. Might I suggest Miniature Golf Capital of the World – Myrtle Beach, UFOWelcome Center – Bownman, and who could resist the Button KingMuseum – Bishopville!? No, you probably won’t be able to order ice cream and beer to your doorstep, but who wouldn’t want to live in a place where they have an actual law that states that “musical instruments may not be sold on Sundays”, and “if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place”?


  9. So I Googled. You like Nascar, right?
    After all, WARNING: THIS IS A REAL STATISTIC! It's the #1 spectator sport in the U.S., with more of the top 20 highest-attended sporting events in the U.S. than any other sport.
    Going in circles fast. It's a metaphor for life, non?


Your comments are why I get out of bed in the morning. Just kidding. But I do like them.