I frequently accidentally say "I'm exciting" when I'm trying to say "I'm excited..." and I once went through a phase where I kept calling things pianos. And by "things" I mean "things that weren't pianos."
Conversation that once occurred at Nancy's:
Me: "Hey is it cool if I jump on your piano?"
Me: "Is it safe to jump on?"
Nancy: "Do you mean my trampoline?"
Me: "Yes. Did I call it a piano again?"
(a half hour later)
Me: "Oh man, that felt weird. I haven't jumped on a piano in like ten years."
Nancy: "You called it a piano again."
Me: "I think I have a weird type of brain damage."
I've also- more than a handful of times- called laptops "pianos" and referred to cars as "guitars."
Speaking of brain damage, I also have an impressive ability to begin as many as seventeen separate sentences in as few as twenty seconds. None of these sentences will be completed and I'm quite certain the world is in no way worse off for this.
When Ashley and I were going through our ladies who lunch juncture, I believe I was about to form a statement about being impatient or having a low tolerance for incompetence (because I'm the most laid back neurotic in the world) when I began, "I have such a short..."
She just let it hang there as I stared off into the distance for no doubt fifteen seconds.
What are some of your exceptional deficiencies?